Beyond the Beyond
Coming up on 8 weeks since the lockdown began, I can honestly say this is the longest I’ve ever been home. Much like the rest of the world, I sit in limbo. I try and look at the positives of the situation: the opportunity to take all my supplements regularly, all the steamed greens I’ve been able to eat, bonding with my dog over long walks and deep chat. (Yes I talk to my dog, this is not a pandemic occurrence, we’ve always been vocal with one another ) and the opportunity to struggle with my relentless need to be DOING something.
I’ve managed to get through life getting a lot done, pushing myself to exhaustion. Perhaps I had an innate knowing that life would and could change … or maybe it was just my addiction. Like any addiction, withdrawal is a bitch. I struggle daily with not feeling like I am productive or accomplishing much of anything. What counts as productivity?
Do things land on my plate in the absence of help that perhaps- now count? Shopping, house cleaning, and full-time care and entertainment of my dog - and I know I have it easy compared to many, but we all struggle. I’m teaching free Yoga classes online because giving back is all that matters to me and this is perhaps the best way I know to help others. The gift of yoga.
“Bodies in motion stay in motion, bodies at rest stay at rest “ physics - but how do we balance the two?
Deep inside of me, there has been a fear of stopping, well for too long anyway. And no - I’m stopped. Yes, I could be writing another book, but somehow my creativity has been damping by this heaviness, the feeling of being ground to a halt in many ways without an endpoint. It was very easy to get things done when I was busy- traveling, teaching, meeting people, etc … And now I struggle. With myself. When all we have is the present moment we need to stay in it.
A lot is revealed when we get to stay in our thoughts and minds- 24/7. Before there were breaks, distractions, and now … not so much. I’m very grateful that I have tools and feel deeply concerned for those who do not.
My new book Healing Trauma with Yoga and Mind-Body Tools is timely - yes … using them all is a whole nother story.