You Are Your Best Healer
As someone who has been to a lot of “healers” and done much self-work to “cure" what I thought were deficits ( perhaps in difficulties I was having with my childhood or in a significant relationship) - I am swearing off of healers for a while- maybe forever.
Because sometimes the problem isn’t a problem, it’s just who we are. Perhaps the problem is not with us, but it is the environment or situation we are in. Many factors need to be considered before you carelessly throw yourself into the arms of a healer – any healer …..as it may lead to more confusion.
We rely on professionals in times of need, crisis and concern; doctors, therapists, and medical professionals.
But what happens when the Doctor may not know best?
What happens when we put our trust into someone and they mislead us, feed us erroneous information and let us down?
What about when we when we allow their opinion, diagnosis, and evaluation to be of greater weight than our own intuition?
We are all humans, we all go to sleep at night under the same moon and wake up under the same sun. Yes, many of us are trained and educated in a certain specialty and have more information and knowledge on a subject matter. With being human, comes human error - in medicine, in psychiatry and in therapy- physical and otherwise.
By definition – You seeking a healer is saying to the Universe that you have a deficit within you
I NOW believe that unless it is a PHYSICAL Issue –a “healer" is a non-need –
In 2003 I broke my wrist during a biking accident, the doctor ( after promptly prescribing Percocet ) told me I would never do another push up again. Those of you who know me through YogaFit have seen me do about 20-30 pushups during yoga class – many after upward facing dog.
Imagine if I had let settle into my mind/body what the doctor shared with me? Perhaps I would have never even tried another push up again. If we internalize what the doctors tell us, believe it to be true and act or don’t act accordingly, we may limit ourselves.
Regarding the Percocet, I knew seven days after the accident that I needed to stop taking it. I went through a bad physical withdrawal – fever, sweats, chills – after one week. Imagine the consequences if I had stayed on this opioid for a month. I may have gotten both physically AND mentally addicted to it, like so many Americans. According to the market search firm IMS Health, The number of opioid prescriptions dispensed by doctors has steadily increased from 112 million prescriptions in 1992 to a peak of 282 million in 2012 - that’s more than DOUBLED. Unfortunately, people who become dependent on pain pills may switch to heroin because it is less expensive than prescription drugs. The National Institute on Drug Abuse estimates that half of young people who inject heroin turned to the street drug after abusing prescription painkillers, also that three in four new heroin users start out using prescription drugs. We are in the midst of an opioid epidemic - while holistic practices such as yoga, acupuncture, massage, and meditation are now proving to be more effective for chronic pain management. (https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/04/06/599850185/for-chronic-pain-a-change-in-habits-can-beat-opioids-for-relief)
A friend’s son was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and now they are learning on that term for everything. Saying he’s afraid of people because of his OCD, that’s agoraphobia. He has internalized the diagnosis and is now using it for everything that he thinks is wrong with him. Maybe he’s just a highly sensitive person? I am an empath, so maybe he’s also an empath - a highly sensitive person and maybe he just doesn’t want to be in crowds. When behavior shifts right after a diagnosis, that’s the time to observe and be cautious.
A few years ago I sought out the help of a neurologist/ psychologist to help me with what I thought were symptoms of OCD, coupled with what I thought was an inability to focus on the book I was writing about the brain and other important work. She sent me for an EQG which showed I had shades of both. As I wanted to understand my brain better, I continued to work with her in hopes I could create some new neural pathways. She had Buddhas on her desk and meditated so I thought she was not only cool but had a spiritual nature. As a good student and client/patient, I followed every single direction she gave me – I went to a plant medicine retreat in Costa Rica, hypnosis, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) Training. I also was exposed to a group doing clinical trials using psychedelics for PTSD, anxiety, trauma, and depression. Some of these ventures like Costa Rica were great- while hypnosis and others had no effect on me. Learning about these clinical trials was fascinating, researching the different plant medicines was also very interesting. I learned a lot.
Later, when I started to venture out experiencing my own research on the brain – the Amen clinic and a few other classes – she became a bit distant, like something shifted. Shortly there after she terminated our 18-month relationship. To be dropped by your Doctor is a huge betrayal and for anyone who has an attachment disorder or severe psychological/personality disorder – this could have been extremely dangerous or even life-threatening. Imagine being cut from one of your anchors, which is what most therapists become.
If I am honest with myself, I had red flags earlier in the relationship with her sometimes inappropriate personal shares and her insistence that I stay in what was a few very toxic situations – personally and professionally. When working with any professional, it’s important to listen to your intuition and know your boundaries.
At YogaFit we teach the Essence of Listening to Your Body, Feeling and Breathing. The feeling and breathing part allow for us to also connect with our intuition. Trust yourself FIRST. Through the practice of yoga and mindfulness, we begin to observe, know and listen to our bodies better than anyone else.
When meeting with a new “professional healer” here are my top tips:
Knowing that if something doesn’t feel right, you can always remove yourself from the situation or try someone new. If something feels off, speak up.
Taking time to observe this new experience, maybe keep a journal that you review from time to time to track any shifts.
Notice your breath. When your on your way to an appointment or sitting in the waiting room, notice your breathing patterns - are you breathing slow, calm and centered? Or are you feeling more chaotic with quick, rapid breaths? Do you feel comfortable in their office? Or do you feel anxious?
Be careful whose care you put yourself under, whether they have a MD, PHD, ND or anything else after their name ….
We must always maintain our personal power and intuition, without that consciousness, or we may be led towards more confusion and pain.
They may not be qualified to heal, especially what does not need healing. They bring their own belief systems and limitations to the relationship and you may be perfect just as you are.